The skies opened up and the rain
came down along with thunder and
lightning that resulted in clearing the
haziness out of the air that had been
stagnant for the past few days.  
Speaking of myself, I had found that I
had acquired the same haziness in my
   I had become lazy, self-centered,
filled with self-pity and a regular pain
in the ass; by hiding myself under the
covers of my bed because I was just a
spoiled brat.
  This is not for me riding any pink
cloud.  This was all about forgetting
where I had been, what happened, and
where my life was a few days ago.  
This was all about my program for
continuance sobriety.
  Was I not headed for a test of the
waters outside?  Had I not released my
Higher Power out of my life?  And
taking back my will to live as I see fit
and letting the stinking thinking tell
me what to do;  how to feel;  what to
  A wake up call?  The thunderstorm
that hit the area last night was what
woke me up from the realization of
despair.  I quickly brought back the
thought of my Higher Power, turning
my will back over to him; knowing far
well by experience, that my life today
sober can not compare to the misery
of living when I was an active
  My Higher Power, God as I
understand him, is the thunderstorm to
clear the haziness out of my mind.
                       Bingocliff  7/20/01
"Haziness Of The Mind"