Welcome to Edition 18
The day that I went to the hospital all was bleak and I
didn't care if I lived. I looked like a Poster Child. I could
not hold my head up straight and my bloodshot eyes were
rolling in the back of my head. I had stopped functioning
as my liver was shutting down. My blood alcohol level
was at 3.9 % and even my hair was falling out in clumps. I
had deteriorated to 94 pounds and I would not have lived
much longer if I had not sought help. I was a true
That was on October 4th, 1999.
My name is Anne, and I am a friend of Bill W.
So why sobriety October 5th? Well, I can say foremost
was because I finally was truly sick and tired of being sick
and tired. This was the seventh time I had entered detox.
On this debauch, my doctor said, "Anne, do you know that
you are going to die if you don't stop drinking?" I just
looked at him and shrugged my shoulders. He further
said. "You are the worst alcoholic I have ever seen."
This of course made me very mad. I told myself that I
would show him. It had been already October 8th, and I
was just starting to remember who I was. This last
debauch was strictly on booze. I had liquor in my desk
drawers and they were stocked.
On October 9th, my doctor released me to go home. I
had told him that I would do whatever he suggested. He
stated for me attend two AA meetings this coming
weekend. I had always thought that I could control alcohol
That Saturday I was still detoxing at home and I could
hardly move out of bed. I was in the fog with my brain and
shaking like a leaf in a breeze. I had told my spouse that I
would try AA, but they could forget about the 'God' thing.
On Sunday I felt much better and the shakes had
dissipated almost completely. There was a meeting at
1:30 in the afternoon, and I was deadly scared to go. Well,
I arrived at the meeting and within one hour I was
catapulted from a scrap pile to the 4th Dimension just like
'IT' happened to Bill Wilson.
I had been working step one for years and didn't know I
was working a step of Alcoholics Anonymous. So step
two was easy to conquer. I realized as I got deeper into
the program that I had worked step two at my first meeting
and found the God that I had forgotten about 30 years
before when I had joined a church. I walked out of that
first meeting crying and running to my car. I then realized
that I was in a church parking lot on a Sunday afternoon
and was not drunk. This very thing was a miracle to me.
I had my first spiritual awakening that day. To this day I
keep having them or what I like to call my spirtual
experiences. I realized then that I had found home. I had
no idea there were so many people just like me. They
were sharing about their alcohol hiding places. They were
talking about gratitude. They were laughing at
themselves. They were hugging each other. They all had
what I wanted and it cost me $1 to hear the best and most
honest show I have ever seen.
I went to a second meeting on Monday and picked up a
24-hour chip. That was truly the beginning of a new life.
After the meeting they invited me to go for lunch with
them. I could not believe that these people were at a
restaurant ordering tea and coffee and not cocktails. This
really amazed me. It turned out to be the best lunch I had
ever had. I even ate my entire lunch.