"Numerous Thoughts"
  Just another word eliminated from
my vocabulary since the beginning of
this recovery.
  One of many negative terms.
   I mean to tell you all, that I do not
resent the fact that I spent 28 years
of my life as a drunk.
   I know today that was what my God
of my understanding had in store.  
That I was to drink myself to death at
a young age.  So that God could save
me and help in changing my life
through the Program of Alcoholics
Anonymous.  To erase all the
resentments that I had acquired.
   So that today I can live in sobriety
and share with you all my experience,
strength, and hope.
   With no resentments attached.
Bingocliff  2/5/04
  After struggling in and out of Alcoholics Anonymous
for fifteen years, I finally was able to grasp and develop
a manner of living which demanded rigorous honesty.  
This had become the key element for this alcoholic to
achieve the acceptance of the first suggested step of
  Over the course of the next six years, I had been
able to work all the suggested steps of AA, because I
have been able to hold to the capacity of being honest.
  Honesty with thyself has been the link to discover
and believe in a God of my understanding.  The help of
my HP has lead this here alkie down a path in fulfilling
a life of peace, happiness, and love with all mankind
and ladies too.
  Without honesty, I would of joined the thousands
that have been unsuccessful in changing their lives and
ended six feet down tossing and turning for all eternity.
  Can you imagine that?
  Not I, because I want to die sober having found the
serenity that will come for all eternity.
Bingocliff   2/18/04
   Is it possible that another year
has passed in my continuance in
keeping sober?
  Again I am totally amazed at my
steady recovery of the disease of
alcoholism.  Not only have I each
day stayed clean & sober, but I feel
that I have grown stronger in my
quest of serenity & happiness.
  You see that this alcoholic was
unable on his own to get sober.  I
fought for twenty-eight years the
obsession that I had claimed.  As
long as I was to play my own god, I
would fail.
  Not until I hit the low bottom at
age 48, facing death in the face, did
I receive the scare of my life.
  I decided that I wanted to live.  
Alcoholics Anonymous has done for
this alkie that miracle to happen.  It
has become the backbone of my
sobriety.  Along with the Big Book,
the suggested 12-steps to recovery,
AA meetings, the fellowship, a God
or Higher Power, and the committed
service work, I have been able to
grow each day.
   I live today with an 'attitude of
gratitude,' and enjoy another
twenty-four hours of the AA way of
   Alcoholics Anonymous is not just
something I joined to get sober.  AA
is something I live.
Bingocliff  3/3/04
    Before I entered this recovery and discoved a new way of living, I had
lied to everyone I loved about everything I did to hide my denial of being
a drunk.  I refused to accept that I was an alcoholic.
    Being dishonest had become the top priority for me in my everyday
living.  Not only did I lie, I had a basketful of excuses for all the
problems that I faced.
    I was so dishonest with myself, that I reached a point that I believed
my own untruths.  I would hang onto what I had said for weeks, months
down the road because I believed that everything was right.
    What this recovery has done for this drunk, has made me realize,
that to remain sober, I had to become honest with myself and everyone.
    Having accepted this fact, not only have I succeeded into a honest
living, but a sober six years in a roll.
Bingocliff  4/13/04
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