In all my years as an active alcoholic,
living my life in misery,
I blamed God for all my troubles.
   I hated God with all my heart.
I exercised rage toward God.
   When really the fact was,
the devil was laughing at me.
   What I discovered to begin recovery,
was that my God was there to keep me alive.
   It was the devil and alcohol fused
together that made my life miserable.
   What I was to find,
that there is a God of my understanding.
   A loving God.
An understanding God.
A God to keep me sober and sane to the
very end of my living.
   And then to keep me in serenity for all
Bingocliff  6-18-05
   Never did I leave 'The I Chamber.' It was
a day of relaxation, with reading, the NFL,
and the cooking of a great dinner.
    It was a Thanksgiving Day.  And at night
to have sat at the kitchen table along with
two friends for feasting and a meeting of
the minds; a meeting of three sober minds.
    I can not help but think of the rewards
that have come to me as a result of my
new way of living.  To have become so
positive with all aspects of life.  Having
freed my mind of the fears, resentments,
negative points of view, false
perfectionism, inner conflicts, boredom,
jealousy, and that one desire to have a
drink. I can only look forward to continue
to be strengthen in my new way of life.
    This honestly has shown to me by AA
and the fellowship that I have come to
Bingocliff  11-27-05
   I am amazed at the insanity that I lived for so
many years as an active alcoholic. By drinking I
would show you. By drinking I would hurt
those close to me and oneself. This did never
phase me as I continued to indulge to get even
with God?
  Just as well have taken a hammer and pound
my scull. Not as a wake up call, rather as to the
damage I was doing by drinking my life away.
  My how sobriety has cleared up a foggy
  I have much zest today, more than I ever had
in twenty-eight years of drinking.
  It is great, and if honestly it is only a dream,
then let me sleep forever.
                                 Bingocliff  3-9-06
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