WELCOME to Edition  6
"The Point of No Return"
    Why do I believe that I am an alcoholic?
     Speaking for myself and not anyone else, I have come to
believe that I have within thyself the point of no return.  Call it
what you like...but I know that the so called disease of
alcoholism does exist.  Not proven to be a disease, there is
definitely something within me that in my twenty-eight years as
an active consumer, that I could not put a finger on it.
    Why did I pick up after at least one hundred times that I told
myself that I would never drink again?  Having woke up from so
many black outs, not remembering the night before...in a jail, in
a hospital, or even in a strange bed.
    Is it a lack of self control?  No!  I know that I have much
control.  What I do believe today is that within me there is the
disease of alcoholism and the point of no return.
    It is Super Bowl Sunday.  I'm married and raising two step
kids.  I decide to stay home with a six-pack of beer and enjoy
the game with my family.  I start drinking one, two, three,
four...and at some point I lose the self control of reality.  Not
only do I finish five and six, but I leave my family to drive drunk
for another six-pack, or, even a twelve-pack.  
I HAVE
REACHED THE POINT OF NO RETURN.
I would then
return to drink until I passed out.
    Could I ever stop at one drink?  Of course I could.
    Could I ever stop at just two drinks?  Of course I could.
    The reasoning was I had yet to reach the point of no return.  
But, give me that third drink...you just as well give me the whole
refinery.
    No matter what excuses I can muster up in my subconscious,
the fact is that I am an alcoholic.  Always will be to the day they
lay me to rest.
    Scared to have to admit today, having many twenty-four
hours of sobriety under my belt line, I can honestly tell you all,
that the next drink I should pick up, will be that point of no
return.
                                                            
 Bingocliff   3/10/02